A Year From Now

I did not made a New Year's resolution because they never stick for me. Birthday to birthday goals seem more interesting. My question is what kind of person do I want to be a year from now? Do I want to be a fit person? Do I want to be an organized person? This seemingly never ending sugar binge has me questioning my resolve. Should I totally eliminate sugar, and have monthly treats, yearly treats or no treats at all? Should I just go back on Weight Watchers and eliminate sugar as much as possible, eating only quality foods? I really am stuck. When I am so restricted, I totally flip out and start a rebellion. The problem is that I can't handle sugar, just like any addict. What to do...Yesterday was my birthday and my next year's gift to myself will be a healthier me who is fit for life. The blog says it is a journey. I wonder what is next on the path?! What do you think?

I'm Free...Free Fallin!

Still nothing good to report. Still eating sugar and still eating way too much of it. It is like I will never eat sugar again. I think that by the time I went off of my no sugar way of life, I was eating so much fruit and agave that it just did not matter. Going back to no sugar with the bars and agave syrup ice cream is not the answer. The calories are basically the same and it is just natural sugar. I need a detox plan. I have downloaded my ebooks and made a handbook for myself and am getting back to basics. I have a birthday on Sunday and a long girl's weekend over MLK weekend. I don't want to set myself up for failure until all of that is over. I know what you are thinking...make that your birthday gift to yourself! Be sugar free. I thought of that. I just don't think I am there. I have a lot to sort out. My body certainly feels much stiffer than usual. I am just a mess. I will figure it out, though. Thanks for all of your wise words. I am listening to everything you write!

Seriously...?

I am still flittering around, eating sugar and finding excuses to not get a plan. Tonight, I at a pint of ice cream but that was not enough sugar for me. I had no other sugar in the house, so I got creative! I remembered that a friend had given my daughter a pumpkin filled with Halloween candy and it was rattling around in the back of my car in a tote bag. I got up from my cozy home and went to the garage to find this pumpkin, not even knowing what I would find. I brought it in and cracked it open. I don't really even like these candies, other than the chocolate. I ate several Starbursts and went nuts from there. If I ever start to wonder if I have a sugar addiction problem, I hope one of you will remind me about this ridiculous post.

If You Fail to Plan, Ya Plan to Fail!

I thought I was over the sugar, but apparently not! It is all about organization. I do not have adequate alternative food in the house, I still have stuff to organize to clear my brain, and I still am on my forbidden tour of foods! I am not there yet. Will be. For sure.

Happy New Year!

Transition

Weight update after sugarpolooza-the same at 288. I consulted with David Vanadia, my sugar free mentor, at http://www.vanadia.com/stopbeingsweet
and he suggested that to ease back into sugar free life, I should use borderline foods (Any sugar free food that does not make me binge) and start there. I had a really successful day. I did not feel deprived, but I did feel much more in control. I have almost given all of my sugary treats away did not want to eat my delish caramels. I am not worried yet about hidden sugars and over doing agave during this transition. I am happy to report that I went to bed at 9:15 and got up at 8:15 for some really good sleep. That in turn, makes me want to get on my elliptical and rock it! I also took my vitamins. I have such an appreciation for the way I felt off of sugar. Now, I need to get serious about how much I use agave and fruit. I also need to get serious about exercise for health and also to get more results for my efforts. Here is my plan (after the transition) for phase two.
*use the resource of mizfit and other exercise to implement a plan for regular exercise
*only use agave or larabars for once in a while treats
*remove non sugar trigger foods like those Gladfood popcorn nuggets
*use melatonin after I eat dinner to start the process of being tired and going to bed no later than 11:30 (striving for 10)
*vitamins
*make lunch at home to save money and eat better at least 4 days a week
*organic when possible
*cage free foods
*eat at home more for better quality of food
*clean the kitchen right after dinner instead of procrastinating so I stay up later
*slowly remove white bread products like pizza dough etc.
*journal
*read more at night
That is enough for now! What are you adding or taking away from your plan?

I Am Over It!

I will officially put the Sugarpolooza to bed as I hit the pillow tonight. I am SICK of sugar and let me tell you, I do not feel well. I have shortness of breath, every time I eat some sugar, my chest feels tight, and I ache. My sugar overload was excessive and I sure feel the effects. In the morning, I will put a plan together for phase two! I seriously can't wait. If this "experience" has taught be anything, it is that I want a different quality of life. I want a vibrant and energetic life. On sugar, I have anxiety. I worry when I am on sugar. I worry that I will die in the middle of the night and leave my child motherless. These days on sugar had me worrying about that all of the time. Ironically, my daughter and I were in an accident this past week, when a car ran his stop sign and hit us as we travelled down the road. We are okay. Clearly, this is not my time to die. I have way too much to do. I can either spend my time worrying or I can lose the weight and be a vivacious person who is living life.

Caramel Crack

Last night at 2:00 in the morning, I decided that I would make homemade caramels. I told myself that I was doing it that late because I did not want my five year old around the hot sugar mixure on the stove. That was one factor, but mostly, I wanted to stay up and make more sugar. Because I am on vacation, I switch into the late night mode that I crave. The caramels came out fabulously! I did not stop there. I bought caramel ice cream, and drank caramel mochas. I mixed in a bit of sugar cookie dough in between eating the caramel. Right now, I never want to eat sugar again, yet, in a few minutes, I will be going to the fridge and scoop out some chilled sugar cookie dough. So, here are some of the side effects from all of this junk:
*weight gain-that's an understatement
*anxiety
*I can't bound up the stairs like usual, without my heart pounding
*I look terrible
*I have dark circles and splotchy skin
*I am weak and tired
*My tongue is sour and overwhelmed
*I am stiff when I first wake up.
I will be happy to get off of this craptastic plan on Friday. Even though I have these reactions, I think it will remind me why I am not using sugar anymore. I think I will be much more motivated for my next phase.